Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

Old news via code_poet:

• 12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!


• 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!


• 10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.


• 9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!


• 8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.


• 7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.


• 6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.


• 5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.


• 4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!


• 3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!


• 2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!


• 1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

But that's the mood I'm in....

Could be funny......

but maye not

Alien in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies..

And now for something completely different : Alien in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies, in the tradition of : The Shining, The Exorcist, The Titanic

Expose of Peasants' Plight Is Suppressed by China

In today's NYT's read about Expose of Peasants' Plight Is Suppressed by China, and understand why the people of Hong Kong match for more (any) Democracy:.

Peking Duck also noted and commented on the NYT piece.

In a related issue, the CBC recently re-showed a special on AIDs orphans in China, created by government corruption, and the Henan provincial government who realized that AIDS orphans are a money tree.

Synthetic Serendipity

Via SlashDot is a Vernor Vinge's adapted short story from his upcoming novel Rainbows End : Synthetic Serendipity

Very yummy. Vernor is both a CompSci / Math professor (From 1972 to 2000 SDSU) and a well know SfiFi author with a bunch of critical works like the short story "True Names" (in a collection of similar name), and such novels as "Marooned in Realtime", "A Fire Upon the Deep", and "A Deepness in the Sky". Get thee to the book store now if thee has not read'th of them!

The new Short is part of a IEEE spectrum special report called Sensor Nation, and includes a detailed s follow-up piece, "Mike Villas's World."

also, behind un protected url's, are other gems :

We like to watch

Sensors & Sensibility

The Artwork of Greg Martin

The Artwork of Greg Martin, stunning wall paper and digital art of various Space-scapes via parking lot syndrome

Spiderman 2 the Lego Way

Via Boing Boing comes linkage to The Peril of Doc Ock: a Lego animated Spiderman 2.

It looks to be semi-offical, and uses one of an Lego Spiderman 2 set, but still wonderfully done,and very funny. I enjoyed the movie, but this might be even better!

(also a tip of the hat to Graham's Page of Stuph for the find.)

VoIP hacks gut Caller I.D.

Via SecurityFocus HOME News

According to the article, using 'the open-source Linux-based PBX software Asterisk, used in combination with a permissive VoIP provider' can be used to fool caller id, and even get caller numbers that are supposed to be private." But don't blame the messager, the system has long been open to manipulation.

See more about Asterisk here and here

Update : Om a related item Caller ID Falsification Service

Fluffy The English Vampire Slayer

Via Wired News: A Wretched Hive of Fan Films comes Fluffy the best thing since SunnyVale got turned into a crater!

Also from Foiled Productions is The Jedi who Loved Me. Great stuff!


and the there's Pink 5 and Pink Five Strikes Back. Chicks Rule! Can't wait for Revenge of Pick 5! Go Truly Dangerous.

Update on Lotus Formula Language > Developer tool: read/set document fields from view

An Update on a a bug in a otherwise very power (developer or Adminisrator only) tool for Lotus Notes / Domino noted Last week.

Now just a set document fields from view Tool.

Had a friendly email exchange with Mr Andre Guirard, with regards to the small bo bo (it give it it's techical name). Here's his updated code for R5 that does as much as is possible in the old version:

_choices := @DocFields;
_fieldName := @Prompt([OkCancelEditCombo]; "Field Name"; "Select Field Name."; ""; _choices);
_newValue := @Prompt([OkCancelEdit]; "New Value - " + _fieldName; "New value (use leading # for number fields, [ for dates, ~ for strings. Separate multivalues with ; (no space) )."; "");
_firstchar := @Left(_newValue; 1);
_fixNew := @Explode(@If(firstChar = "~":"#":"["; _newValue; @RightBack(_newValue; 1)); ";"; 1);
_adjValue :=
@If(_firstChar = "#"; @TextToNumber(_fixNew);
_firstChar = "["; @TextToTime(_fixNew);
_fixNew);
@If(@IsError(_adjValue);
@Prompt([Ok]; "Change field value"; "Conversion error!");
_newValue = "@DEL";
@SetField(_fieldName ; @Unavailable);
@SetField(_fieldName ; _adjValue)
)


Note the change doesn't always display in the Document Properties dialog right away.
Andre also comments that It not possible in R5 to detect the old type of the field and set the new value to the same type.

To use this formula, type # before a number value, [ before a date value, or ~ before a string. @DEL can be used to delete an item (I hope!). If you don't use a prefix character the formula will assume you mean a string. Use ; as multivalue separator. So for instance, type #14;9 to set the item to a number list containing the values 14 and 9. If you type ~14;9 or 14;9 you will set the field to a text list containing the string values "14" and "9".


Thanks again Andre!

Time for a Redesign: Dr. Jakob Nielsen

Time for a Redesign: Dr. Jakob Nielsen

• And I'll just mention one glaring mistake that most companies make: They divide up their networks or Web sites between products and supplies and service. There are typically three different places because there are three different divisions doing it. For a customer, however, if I have a certain copier, let's say the X17 copier, and I want toner for that machine, or I want to get it serviced—well, what I want is to go and find my copier and, once I find it, I want to get supplies for my copier, I want to get some trouble-shooting, self-service information. But it's a major effort because these are in different places. So that's something we find almost every time we do a study: that information is not structured in the way that people think of it. And that has been a problem for all ten years.


• Fail to include a tag line that explicitly summarizes what the site or company does.


• Neglect to use a liquid layout that lets users adjust the home page size.
  


• Don't use color to distinguish visited and unvisited links.
  


• Use graphics to decorate, rather than illustrate real content.
  


• Give an active link to the home page on the home page.



• several of these best intranets had reduction of e-mail as being one of their priorities in their project, finding ways of taking information away from e-mail and sticking it into a more kind of organized and searchable space on the intranet.

B2B Tips

• To make the most of your B2B Web site, nielsen recommends that you "Help your fans help you" win their business. Provide the resources prospective clients' need to sell your products and services internally.


• White papers that demonstrate ROI. Make these short, and don't use PDF; standard Web pages make it easier for advocates to cut and paste text and images into their memos and presentations.


• Links to external press coverage that demonstrates that independent sources have covered you positively.


• Ongoing updates through an e-mail newsletter, which can offer advocates hints about tidbits to feed their bosses.

Web Functionality Testing tools

Open Source Testing
Web test Tools
To get started, what other resources are out there? Is there a standard refrence book or article?

The trees fight back

Economist.com > Should old media embrace blogging?