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False Positives Adventures in Technology, SciFi and Culture from Toronto

Thursday, January 27, 2005

You Might Be A High-Tech Redneck...

@ AMERICAN DIGEST
If....

  • You post squirrel recipes on a website.
  • You've ever bought beer online.
  • You write to Hewlett-Packard to sponsor a NASCAR team.
  • You've modeled your new 'Daisy Dukes' for a webcam.
  • You have a celphone headset for your fishing boat.
  • Your robot dog is named 'Bubba'.
  • You paid more for your computer than you did for your house.
  • You subscribe to the chewing tobacco newsgroup.
  • Your windows wallpaper is the confederate flag.
  • You make John Wayne MP3s.
  • Your IM lists are 'Hunting buddies' and 'Mama'n them'.
  • Your ringtone is a Hank Williams song.
  • You changed beauty shops because they didn't offer websurfing under the hair driers.
  • You modified your gunrack to hold a rifle AND your laptop.
  • You help install a wireless hotspot zone in your favorite Honky Tonk.
  • You've ever called Graceland to tell them their webcam was down.
  • You have your monster truck magazine collection on CD-ROM.
  • You've ever been to a computer show wearing a Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt.
  • You've used your shoe's spike heel to pry out a DVD that was stuck in the player.
  • Your ISP's office is on a gravel road.
  • You sent your husband an Ecard of Dolly Parton on the first day of deer season.
  • You have Harley Davidson stickers on your mouse.
  • Your Windows sound files are all steel guitar.
  • You wrote a really cool flash animation that involves Jack Daniels.
  • You've ever emailed a digital photo of your new tattoo.
  • You know the GPS coordinates of your deer stand and duck blind.
  • You've used a photo editor to see what you'd look like in Tammy Faye makeup.
  • You've used a locking CD case to close a bag of salsa chips.
  • You've ever gotten Kripsy Kreme icing INSIDE your PDA.
  • You've ever spilled moonshine on your Blackberry.
  • You wired your grandma's outhouse with broadband just for giggles.
  • You have a satellite photo of the Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleaders on your wall.
  • You've ever painted a URL on an overpass.

category: Humour


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