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False Positives Adventures in Technology, SciFi and Culture from Toronto

Friday, August 29, 2003

Top medical acronyms

Via the BBC: Doctor slang is a dying art. And you thought geek slang was insulting! Here are a few choice terms:

CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GLM - Good looking Mum
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
TTFO - an expletive expression roughly translated as "Told To Go Away"

LOBNH (Lights On But Nobody Home),
CNS-QNS (Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient),
Pumpkin Positive - which refers to the implication that a penlight shone into the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up.

Digging for Worms - varicose vein surgery
Departure lounge - geriatric ward
Handbag positive - confused patient (usually elderly lady) lying on hospital bed clutching handbag
Woolworth's Test - Anaesthetic term (if you can imagine patient shopping in Woolies, it's safe to give a general anaesthetic)

Freud Squad" are psychiatrists, and "Gassers" and "Slashers" are anaesthetists and general surgeons respectively.


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